I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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