I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
