just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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