Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
