Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
