dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
