Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
