3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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