do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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