All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
