I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
