party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
