She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
