In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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