Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
