I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
