let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
