hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
