Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize