it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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