Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Im part way to drunk.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
