He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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