i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize