Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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