i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
