Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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