Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
