I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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