he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
