do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
