I got chris browned last night
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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