So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
