there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
