idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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