Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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