Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
