Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize