i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
