Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize