just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
