I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
