we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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