were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
