Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize