the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
