i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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