sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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