I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
