Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
