I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
