When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
