Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
