Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
