it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
