I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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