Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
