Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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