You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I looked at my own cervix.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
worst night to have a conscience
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Randomize