and you said cock pushups were impossible
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
