Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
