im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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