Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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