just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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