I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just had sex bonerless
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize