Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
dude. I can hear the air.
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