Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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