i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
did i walk over a car last night?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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