The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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