ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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