youre lurking in front of me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
