i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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