no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
