You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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