There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
ok first of all what the fuck
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
