So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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